


You Got Me, Baby

by rbcch



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Liam is being oblivious, Louis is being a little shit that he is, M/M, Zayn is being angsty and ridiculous, as well as Harry and Niall, but like minor, don't mind these just read the thing, even if he has like two lines, im tagging for the first time ever as you can tell, ok im gonna stop now, the struggle is real, there are also mentions of Perrie and Sophia and Eleanor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 05:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3278945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rbcch/pseuds/rbcch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Zayn doesn’t believe in himself and Liam, and one time that Liam makes him believe.</p><p>Or, Zayn is insecure and Liam seems oblivious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Got Me, Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so basically i'm super nervous rn, because 1) i haven't written anything in a very very very long while and 2) i haven't published anything in even a longer while and 3) english isn't my first language, and in fact it's not even my second language and that's why i haven't written anything in english in, like, ever. 
> 
> But now i decided to stop hiding this one from the world and share it with all you lovelies, so please let me know what you think!
> 
> And i also know that they didn't do the twitter questions during the wwa tour, but let's just pretend that they did ;)
> 
> The title's from Arctic Monkeys' R U Mine, because, i mean, _why not_?

**I**

The thing is, Harry and Louis are friends.

Very good, maybe the best _est_ friends there has ever been, but after all, they’re just friends.

They used to be flatmates, sure. They hold hands and make love eyes at each other and have ridiculous inside jokes that _no one_ but them is capable of understanding and cuddle watching _Love, actually_ , but at the end of the day Louis is very much in love with Eleanor, and Harry. Well, Harry is looking for the one, and that one is most certainly not Louis.

And Zayn is okay with all of that. What isn’t okay, though, is this Larry Stylinson thing. Or not even that, bur the fact that thousands believe that two of his completely heterosexual friends are madly in love with each other and dating and doing God knows what, and no one seems to believe in him and Liam.

It’s strange. People seem to believe in things that aren’t even close to the truth. Things like Larry Stylinson or Liam and Danielle or Eleanor, sweet, golden Eleanor, being a beard. But no one seems to believe in what he considers a true love, in _ZaynandLiam_. It’s strange as hell, and it’s hard and Zayn kinda understands those Peter Pan fairies that died when children didn’t believe in them. It’s hard to believe in oneself if no one else believes in one.

Zayn tells Liam that.

“Aw, babe,” Liam says, eyes never fully leaving the flat screen and FiFa ‘13. “What’s that about?”

“Nothing,” says Zayn. “Or. I don’t know. Everything. Sometimes it just doesn’t feel real enough with, like, no one knowing about us.”

“But boys know about us. And our families. And those fangirls who ship us.” Liam scores, again.

Zayn chews his bottom lip. “Yeah, but I don’t want ‘em to ship us, like. I want them to fight for us, like they fight for _HarryandLouis_.”

“Aw, Zaynie,” Liam coos again. “You don’t want ‘em to fight for us. The longer they don’t make us an item, the longer this whole situation is okay with the management. This is optimal, really.”

They fall into silence. Zayn thinks he can hear his heart cracking into pieces.

“You don’t want ‘em to fight for us,” Liam repeats after a while.

But the thing is, Zayn doesn’t only want but he also _needs_ someone to fight for them. And if it’s not going to be Liam, it could as well be a complete stranger.

 

**II**

The thing is, Perrie is wonderful and Zayn loves her. He really, sincerely loves her. She’s his best friend, and maybe in another circumstances, in another time and life, they would have fallen for each other and become a great pair.

He doesn’t even know where and how it starts. They just click and then they’re bonding and the next thing Zayn knows it that he’s telling her about his amazing best friend that he’s madly in love with, but whom he can’t openly date, because they’re in this unbelievably popular boyband, and besides music they sell dreams and fantasies. And a lot of ridiculous merchandise, but that’s not the point.

And then suddenly someone comes up with the idea that they should date. Zayn’s not sure whom, but should one think about it, it’s brilliant, really. It’s not like they don’t already cuddle or have lunch together every now and then, and it’s not like Perrie doesn’t sleep next to Zayn when Liam is away and Zayn’s missing him like crazy and it’s not like Zayn isn’t texting her every time something sweet or crazy or funny or odd happens. So, all in all, nothing changes. He already loves her, so they just have to pretend to be having sex. So yeah, it’s kinda fine with Zayn.

Liam is calm about this whole “my boyfriend’s got a beard” thing. Awfully cheerful, even. He’s all supportive and happy and nice to Perrie. But Zayn doesn’t need supportive and nice. He needs possessive and jealous. He is happy about Liam and Perrie getting along so well, he sure is, but. He needs Liam to be jealous about him pretending to date someone else. He needs Liam to get possessive when they go to have a dinner date with Perrie. He needs Liam to text him the whole time he spends the night at Perrie’s. He needs the proof Liam is in it to win it, with whole his heart and will and to the core of his very being. And though deep inside Zayn knows Liam loves him more than anything or anyone, sometimes Liam’s lack of emotions scares the hell out of Zayn.

Most of the times everything’s fine. It’s not that Zayn doubts Liam constantly. But sometimes he just longs for the fireworks and heated feelings and throwing things around. Sometimes he craves for Liam to scream “You’re mine, nobody else’s” and leave several love bites on Zayn afterwards.

Maybe Liam isn’t the jealous kind.

Yeah, Liam most certainly isn’t the jealous kind.

So, once again, Zayn’s craving for his proofs. It’s the middle of the night; they’re in some hotel, in the nameless city that is to be forgotten as soon as they leave it. Perrie has joined them for a week and she’s sleeping next to him, peaceful like a cute little angel that she is. Zayn is staring at the ceiling. Has been for quite a while. This brooding mystery boy thing is really getting a bit tired and very ridiculous. Zayn sights, gets up and takes Liam’s keycard from his nightstand. He slips out of the room, quietly not to wake Perrie. Liam’s room is just across his own, so he crosses the hallway and enters.

The room is dark and quiet and Liam is very much asleep. Zayn stands next to the bed staring at Liam’s peaceful face for some time. Then he slips under the covers and pushes himself really close to Liam. Liam doesn’t wake up, just shifts even closer and murmurs in his sleep.

“Liam,” Zayn says, wrapping his arm around Liam’s waist. “Liam, how come you’re not jealous?”

“Mhmhmm,” Liam says.

“Liam, there’s a woman in my bed right now.”

“Zayn, what on earth are you doing,” Liam’s voice is raspy from sleep and he seems a bit incoherent.

“How come you’re not jealous of me?” Zayn repeats.

“What the fuck should I be jealous about?” Liam doesn’t sound angry or anything, just sincerely confused.

“About me fake dating Perrie. About her sleeping in my bed and not you. About the world thinking that I’m gonna marry her.”

Liam sights and turns to face Zayn. They stare each other in the eyes and Liam raises his hand to cup Zayn’s cheek.

“Babe, I really don’t know where’s this all coming from, but really. We both know Perrie’s brilliant and this dating idea is brilliant. I almost wish I had come up with this myself. Now try to get some sleep, babe, we have that interview first thing in the morning.”

With one firm movement he flips Zayn so that he’s facing the wall instead of Liam and spoons him. Liam presses himself close to Zayn and Zayn can tell that he’s asleep within a few moments.

Zayn knows he should feel calm being in the arms of the man he loves, but he’s anything but calm. He wills himself to lie where he is, back pressed to Liam’s chest, but deep inside he just wants to run away or at least scream into the pillow.

He doesn’t.

He just stares at the wall for hours, not managing to close his eyes to try and fall asleep. Liam’s hand stays firmly around him the whole time and yet Zayn has never felt such a distance between them ever before.

The thing is, Zayn decides, he’s not good enough to even make his boyfriend fight for him. It’s nearly dawn when he finally falls asleep, the odd pressure never leaving his chest.

 

**III**

The thing is, it’s still kinda mystery why Liam even bothers with Zayn. At least it is for Zayn. Gorgeous, handsome Liam, with his beautiful smile and killer abs and his wonderful personality and heartbreaking voice and the looks to die for. Liam Payne could literally get anyone he ever wanted but he chooses to stick with an awkward twat that is Zayn Malik.

Sometimes Zayn tortures himself by looking at photos of Liam and Sophia. Sophia is magnificent, so beautiful and her and Liam fit so perfectly. They’re this amazing dream team, match made in heaven in the world’s eyes.

And then Zayn looks at photos of Liam and himself and it’s just. He’s not enough to stand by Liam’s side. He doesn’t know how to act all self-confident, almost royal, like Sophia does. He doesn’t see himself as a man worthy of Liam’s attention and affection and he can’t represent himself as one.

It’s not like Zayn doesn’t think that they fit. Of course they fit. Behind closed doors, in the bedroom, while Liam slides into him, the only thing he can think of is that he has never felt this complete and perfect. And when he wakes up in the morning, body entwined with Liam’s, he can’t imagine the world without the warmth of Liam next to him. When the bruises on his hips are the shape of Liam’s fingers, he thinks he would love to tattoo them in there. And when he falls asleep in Liam’s arms during the movie they’re watching, he can’t think of happier place to be (he’d been to Disneyland).

But the world doesn’t see these moments and the world doesn’t know. The world sees Sophia, and the world believes in _LiamandSophia_ and Zayn is afraid that someday Liam will listen to the world and choose Sophia instead of Zayn. He’s afraid that Liam will look at the photos, notice how perfect match they are and forget Zayn. Or that Liam will finally understand that he could get anyone and go for someone more perfect, more fitting, more good-looking.

Zayn has this constant though in his head of not being nearly enough and it’s kinda driving him crazy.

Zayn needs Liam and Sophia to stop fake dating. To fake break up or something. Zayn simply doesn’t get why him and Perrie being engaged isn’t enough. He’s under a lot of pressure already, he does not need the perfect Sophia adding any more of that. Really, Sophia is more of a risk than the security. Every time she’s brought up in the interview, Zayn needs to use all his will not to say anything inappropriate.

He really, painfully needs the management, Liam and Sophia to stop this circus.

Like, right this instant.

Because Liam might not be the jealous kind, but Zayn sure as hell is.

So once again he’s on tumblr’s Sophiam tag, when Liam sneaks up on him from behind.

“What are you doing, baby?” he asks pressing his chin on Zayn’s shoulder.

“Checking out the competition,” says Zayn, continuing his scrolling.

Liam barks out laughter as if Zayn had just said the most hilarious thing ever. And usually Liam’s laughter is Zayn’s favorite thing on earth, but right now it unsettles him and makes him desperate rather than happy and relieved.

“I’m serious,” Zayn says, the gaze firmly on the screen of his laptop.

“No, you’re not,” Liam snorts and threads his fingers through Zayn’s hair.

Zayn shuts his laptop and turns to face Liam. “I need you and Sophia to break up,” he says narrowing his eyes.

Liam laughs again, but his eyes go kinda wide. “No, you don’t,” he says and Zayn thinks he hears hints of _you’ve gotta be kidding me_ and _don’t even start with me, Zayn_ and _are you even serious right now really_ in Liam’s voice, but then again, he could be imagining.

Zayn just stares at Liam, eyes still narrowed, as if he’s challenging him.

Liam stares back for a while, his eyebrows raised a bit, but he’s looking playful rather than mean or angry. For real, Liam is the only person in the world not to get angry in the situation like this one. Zayn’s not completely sure if he finds it endearing or infuriating as hell.

At last Liam sights and says, “Really, Zayn, we’ve been over this for, like, million times and I don’t know what to say anymore. What we need is for the management to stay happy. Me pretending to date Sophia makes the management happy. It’s not like I love this situation either, but it is what it is, baby, and you know it.”

He looks kinda lost and apologizing and sad and Zayn almost feels sorry for Liam, for his beautiful, sincere and lovely Liam, but then.

But then Liam opens his mouth again and just.

“Sophia is brilliant, baby, really. We are so grateful that she’s doing this. We love Sophia, babe.”

Liam could as well have punched Zayn, or at least it feels like it. For a moment Zayn thinks he forgot how to breathe. His vision blurs out a bit.

“Yeah, well, I’m gonna go for a smoke,” he says as soon as his brain remembers how to build coherent sentences. His voice is surprisingly calm, given that he feels anything but. Fuck calm, he’s a screaming mess inside of his head.

So, he’s not completely sure how he makes it out of the room and the building and how his knees don’t fail him on his way. His hand are shaking when he lights up a cigarette and he just stands there, near to the back exit of the hotel, inhaling the nicotine and other toxic substances like it’s the only thing to keep him alive.

After chain-smoking half a pack it finally occurs to him what was it that scared the living shit out of him.

The thing is, Zayn realises, that there’s a very small distance between _We love her, Zayn_ and _I love her, Zayn_.

 

**IV**

The thing is, Zayn is miserable. Has been for quite some time. Exactly for as long as Liam has been strange. Absent. Ignoring Zayn, always gone somewhere, doing something he’s not telling Zayn about. Tired, his smile never fully reaching his eyes. Distant as fuck. Distracted, always minding something else even when he’s with Zayn.

He’s been constantly talking to Perrie about this, and Perrie is great and she’s comfort, but she’s not here to cuddle him and she’s not Liam.

Boys are there for him, though. Or Harry and Niall are, because Louis is busy whispering something to Liam and hiding in shadows and corners every chance they get and disappearing with Liam. But Harry is all comforting, caring words and Niall is all distracting stories and hugs and Zayn doesn’t really have time to worry about Louis getting his boyfriend’s full attention (except he does).

Because it’s not like Louis and Liam hate or even dislike each other, but it’s not like they’ve always been that close, either. They don’t share secrets or plan something big or have that much of a quality time together. So Zayn can’t figure out where all this sudden bonding is coming from and that’s what kinda makes him miserable.

He’s not jealous. He’s not. He is so _not_ jealous of _Lou_.

But the fact is, Louis has been seeing more of his boyfriend than Zayn lately and while it doesn’t make him jealous, it doesn’t exactly make him all that happy, either.

So he’s sat in the back of their tour bus when Louis falls on the couch next to him.

“S’up, man?” Louis says.

Zayn just stares at Louis, because unlike Harry, he doesn’t know how to act all pleasant when he’s pissed at someone.

Because that’s exactly what he is. Utterly pissed at both Louis and Liam.

Louis just stares back at Zayn, smiling as if he hasn’t got a care in the world or at least as if he’s not stealing somebody else’s boyfriend.

“I think you’ve got the wrong boyfriend,” Zayn says finally. “I’d describe him for you, but, you know, I think that by now you know him better than I do.”

“Oh, my God,” Louis laughs, his eyes widening in disbelief. “Zayn, I… I mean,” he shuts up for a moment. “It isn’t… I… It’s not like _that_ …”

Louis is so very rarely speechless that Zayn almost thinks that this is the moment. This is it, he’s gonna hear the truth about what Louis and Liam have been doing behind his back.

“I mean, it’s not my…” Louis starts again causing Zayn to lean closer, but suddenly he’s cut off by the phone ringing in his lap.

It startles both of them and Louis is quick to grab his phone, but not quick enough – Zayn has time to spot Liam’s name and grinning face on the screen.

“Zayn, I really…” Louis tries once again, pointing at the exit. The ringtone makes Zayn’s head hurt and he just wants Louis to turn it off.

 “Just screw you, Louis,” Zayn says and turns his back to Louis. He can hear Louis walk away, taking the call on is way, but he can’t make himself look.

Because, really, the _It’s not like that_ said in shaking voice isn’t nearly enough when it comes to _his_ boyfriend. Oh fuck, was that supposed to calm him down? Because he swears, all it did was make him feel the exact opposite.

Niall is there the moment the door slams shut behind Louis. Zayn’s not even sure where Niall came from, but Niall grabs him and holds him tight and Zayn lets him and leans into him, for he’s too powerless to even hold himself straight. Niall is warm and familiar and he’s a harbour, but it’s still not enough. It’s not enough when Liam hasn’t called or texted him for what feels like eternity. It’s not enough when the smell of Niall and Harry has become more familiar than that of Liam’s.

It’s not enough when Zayn feels as if Liam is slipping from his reach – slowly but firmly.

“Have you maybe thought that it really is not like _that_?” Niall asks him, threading his fingers gently through Zayn’s hair.

“Is is exactly like that,” Zayn groans into Niall’s chest and bites his lips hard to prevent the tears from falling.

 

*

Usually Zayn feels very much alive when on stage. He’s invincible and it’s as if every vein in his body is bursting with this energy that one can’t compare to anything – there’s nothing he isn’t capable of.

Tonight something’s off. It’s not the same – he doesn’t feel same bursts of energy or rush of excitement. It’s like all his senses are only half functioning, allowing him to see and hear and feel, but not clearly. He’s only half there, on the stage. The loud voices of the stadium are just the background noise, the flashing lights aren’t as blinding as usually and despite the heat he is cold as fuck.

He’s never felt this _numb_ in his entire life. He knows he should be worried, but he couldn’t feel that much even if he wanted to.

He can’t even say that he’s feeling sickly, because, well, he _isn’t_. He isn’t mad or sad or disappointed or scared or even that miserable anymore.

He’s so lucky they have done this for what feels like a million times before, because he knows all of this, he knows it all too well. He just goes with the flow, without thinking, without concentrating or giving anything a second thought. He sings his parts and hits all the notes just perfect and even does the little of the choreography he’d found worthy of memorising, but he’s too absent. He lets others do the speaking and while he isn’t known for blabbering on stage, he knows that he’d gone way too far with this. He’ll hear all about this later, for the management is not going to be pleased.

Well, fuck the management. Fuck all of this.

He pretty well plans to stay in the background, avoiding both Liam and Louis for as long as he possibly can.

And his plan is totally working, even if it takes a few sudden awkward changes of direction he’s heading at, because he spots either one of them on the collision course a bit too late.

He’s screwed only when the Twitter questions take their turn.

Harry and Niall handle the first two, making it all about themselves and letting Zayn dodge the bullets. But then it’s the third one and suddenly, after like two and a half beats of total silence, the whole stadium just bursts in screams not comparable to anything Zayn’s ever heard before.

“Zayn, I think this one’s for you,” Harry says smugly before Zayn has time to understand what’s going on, and really, wasn’t he supposed to be on Zayn’s side and then Zayn looks up on the screen and –

Everything’s happening so fast and he just spots the words and the screaming continues and the lights feel all too bright again and his head spins and he isn’t sure he remembers how to even _breathe_.

It feels as if the world has stopped completely, but at the exact same times it’s like the world is spinning a thousand miles an hour and Zayn is the one to be completely still. He just stays and stares at the screen, the words so _absurd_ and _out of place_ , and still everything is making sense for the first time in a very, very long while.

Because, he means –

_“Are you mine, Zayn Malik?”_

_Liam Payne, section: stage._

How the hell is this supposed to even be real?

He startles a bit when Harry sneaks up on him and squeezes his hand. “Zayn,” he says gently, not talking into the microphone, so that Zayn is the only one to hear him under the roar of the stadium. “Zayn, I think he’s waiting for the answer and, well, you know it is not polite to keep someone waiting.”

He tilts his head just a bit to the left and Zayn finally takes his eyes off the screen and looks down and Liam is right there, kneeled in front of him and suddenly Zayn remembers how to breathe and he’s gasping for air.

He isn’t capable of producing any kind of sound, so he just covers his mouth with his hands and nods like his life depends on it.

He never thought of himself as the one to be left speechless by ridiculous big romantic gesture, but here he is, eyes full of tears and it doesn’t even matter, because _Liam_ –

Liam stands up and runs to him and grabs him and the stadium is still roaring like Zayn has never heard it roar before, but he couldn’t care less, because he throws himself at Liam and presses himself very close to him and just inhales him, for _God_ , he has missed Liam so bad it hurt and he never plans on letting Liam go.

“Oh, my God!” Zayn screams into Liam’s shoulder.

“Zayn–“ Liam tries to interrupt, but Zayn doesn’t let him.

“I thought you were leaving me! For Louis!”

“Oh. Oh, God, Zayn, no,” Liam laughs and Zayn thinks he can hear disbelief and relief in Liam’s voice. “I would never leave you for anything or anyone and I’m sorry if I made you feel that way, but really, baby. Louis was just helping me to convince the management that this was actually a good idea. I am so sorry I ever made you doubt me.”

And then it hits Zayn, clear and hard.

The thing is, Liam just not only fought, but also won the whole war for them right under Zayn’s eyes and Zayn was too busy concentrating on insignificant battles to even notice. He presses the kiss on Liam’s lips and hopes that it will tell Liam just how sorry he is.

**Author's Note:**

> omggggg i cannot believe i actually posted this.


End file.
